


His reason for breathing

by MarauderMcCorriston



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: ALMOST Character Death, Battle, F/M, Fight Scene, James Potter - Freeform, Lily Evans Potter - Freeform, Lily Potter - Freeform, One Shot, Sad, Sorry again, cause i think about jily a lot, crying james, hurt my heart to write, hurts your heart, im sorry, its just really sad, james is heartbroken, james potter/lily evans potter - Freeform, jily, marauder era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-09
Updated: 2014-12-09
Packaged: 2018-02-28 19:10:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2743889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarauderMcCorriston/pseuds/MarauderMcCorriston
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She'd miss James tucking their children into bed, after a long day of play fights and story-times, placing a single loving goodnight kiss on their foreheads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His reason for breathing

**Author's Note:**

> One-shot that came to me today - it's just quite sad.  
> I think about James and Lily a lot, a lot of scenes come to me but this is one of the more prominent ones.

Battle and chaos were erupting relentlessly around them. Hexes flew through the air of all colours and constant screams filled the air. They were surrounded and they were losing. Men in masks were overcrowding the area and their leader was taking up a battle with the bravest and talented of wizards and witches.  
James had been hit badly with different hexes and curses, he couldn't feel his body any more. His legs bent at weird angles and he was finding it hard to breathe. His messy black hair was stuck to his forehead with sweat and covered in dust and his large rectangular glasses sat at a lopsided angle on his nose. His face was covered in blood and sweat and a frown was in the place of what usually lay a very charming smile. He had tried to move, he really had. He had dragged his legs until his arms had given up with a burning pain. He couldn't get himself and the limp person in his arms out of harms way. He was screaming, he didn't know if it was with anger or pain but the frustration that was building inside him was unbearable. He was the confident, strong James Potter and he couldn't even get his wife to safety, his body wasn't allowing him too. His mind was trying to fight, fight to save her, fight for her safety. He knew that if he didn't get somewhere safe soon she would die, and his whole world would be without meaning.  
He held onto a fallen brick and pulled himself further into an alleyway, screaming as pain erupted through his body. He moved his legs up, his wife laid on them, and let out a small sob. He pulled himself so he was sat up against the wall, hidden slightly by the alley, hoping and praying help would find them soon. He had discarded his wand when he saw Lily lying motionless on the floor and he pulled Lily from harms way before finding hers. That was when he was attacked, trying to protect Lily he took all of the hexes and the curses before he feigned death next to her and being left to rot. He had no physical way to help her, only hold her and hope his touch would bring her back to him.  
James pulled Lily further onto his lap and cradled her in his arms as he cried. He put a hand on her face and shook her slightly.  
“Lily, Lil wake up. Please come back to me. Don't... you can't leave me... Please..” He cried, tears from his eyes were landing on her face, he tried to wipe them away but black smudges from his hands were left in its place.  
He didn't know what curse had hit her but she was bleeding from various places and he tried to stop the bleeding with his hands to no avail.  
Sounds of the battle carried on from outside of the alley, screams were still echoing, but they didn't matter to James any more. He had to revive her, she had to open the eyes he had fallen in love with when he first seen her.  
“Lily, come on. Now is the time to be stubborn. Wake up” He said a little harder than he had before. He shook her a little more violently this time, willing her with everything he had for her to wake up.  
A flutter of eyelids shot a spark of hope through James.  
“Come on Lily, open your eyes. Lils” He pleaded, holding her head in his hands.  
Lily let out a shallow breath and forced her eyes open. Her vision was blurry but she knew her husband. She knew the feel of his arms around her, his concerned furrowed eyebrows and his large glasses which were slipping from his face. She tried with all her might to reach up her hand and touch his blooded, worried face but her body wouldn't move. Nothing would move.  
“Oh god, Lils, you're okay, I've got you. We're going to get out of here. I promise you're going to be okay” James said hurriedly, holding her tightly against him, trying to drown out any fears she may have.  
“James” She whispered, her mouth barely moving. He moved her so he could look at her.  
“Yeah?” He said sadly, waiting her for to speak again.  
“You're here” She said softly, closing her eyes.  
“Yes, I'm here. Open you're eyes. Don't give up” James cried, tears rolling freely from his eyes. Lily opened her green eyes, forcing them wide. “You're going to be okay”  
Lily nodded weakly, a tear rolling from her eye. She wanted to believe him, but she knew she wasn't going to be okay. Her body had given up on her and no matter how much she fought and fought she knew it wouldn't be enough. She would have to leave James, she wouldn't get to see his smile again. Wouldn't get to run her hands through his hair as he kissed her as though it was the last kiss in their whole existence. She wouldn't hear his laugh as he caught her dancing in the kitchen again. She wouldn't feel his skin against hers as he showed her how much he loves her.  
Tears rolled down the side of her face and into her hair as she thought about how much life and love she would miss with James. She would miss everything, their first real house together, their first pet but most of all she would miss their children, their little black haired little boys flying on brooms in their garden while their red headed daughters made fun of how rubbish they are. She'd miss James tucking their children into bed, after a long day of play fights and story-times, placing a single loving goodnight kiss on their foreheads.  
“Lily, stay with me” James said hurriedly as her eyes rolled back into her head. Lily snapped her eyes back to James, trying to hold onto his love, hoping it would be enough to hold her onto this world, this life. “Come on, remember... remember when we first got together... I couldn't believe I had you. I couldn't believe you're mine, I still can't”  
James smiled sadly at her, he was willing to try everything to keep her awake. To keep her with him. Lily smiled slightly, remembering the memory when she had finally accepted her forever.  
“James..” She croaked.  
“Shh, it's okay. You don't need to talk” James assured her.  
“No, I need.. to” Lily said, trying to concentrate on talking. She needed to tell him how much she adored him “I.. I love you James. With everything I have” She coughed and James held her tighter “You are the best thing... that's ever happened to me” Lily was whispering but the whole world drowned out and all James could hear was her soft, whispering voice speaking about him. “You're my hero... you've... you've saved me.. so.. many times James. More than I... I deserved”  
She tried to take in a deep breath but pain shot through her chest and she let out a sad cry. Tears were rolling thickly into her hair and she knew she wasn't far away from death, she had fought hard but this time, it was just too much.  
“If I... If I die” Lily said.  
“No” James sobbed, holding her tighter, tears falling onto Lily, warming her face slightly. “You're not going to die”  
“James, If... I die. I want you to.... to know that I die happy.” Lily cried softly “ Right here.. In your arms. I'm happy James. You're my happiness and... I love you. I die happy, right here... in your arms James.”  
James let out a strangled sob and nodded his head, he pulled her up to him, burying his face in her hair. She still smelt like Lily, his Lily.  
“You're not going to leave me Lily. I won't let you. You can't” James cried as he rocked her.  
He pulled her back to look at her, to plead with her not to leave him, but her eyes were closed.  
“No... no no no” James cried as he fumbled around for a pulse, a breath, anything to show him his wife was still alive.  
He couldn't find anything. She hung limply in his arms, unmoving.  
“No Lily. No, come back to me. Don't die, you can't do this. Don't go, Lily” He cried hard into her hair as he held her, he couldn't let her go. She couldn't be gone. His reason for breathing couldn't be dead. 

 

James' cry could be heard from across the battle, a cry of horrific pain and loss. Everybody felt it when they heard it. They felt his pain, his anguish and his loss. With the battle almost won, the remaining members of the order raced towards his cries. James Potter will never admit that he had saved his wife's life that day. He believed he could have done more, but his cries over the loss of his beloved had brought the help they needed to survive. James had saved Lily, in every way possible.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> I liked writing this as much as it broke my heart.


End file.
